Category Archives: animals

Shlumpy Saturday

#harpo #magazine photo shoot for the Hotnuts poster #shlumptember #issue

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dreams can come true: strawberry milk latte #byosm

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sex in her capushitty

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#goodmorning #strawberrymilk #thatsallfolks

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ehm one strawberries mocha latte

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no shlumping

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checking into the party animal hospital #tequilaworm

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HIPPIES USE SIDE DOOR

Back from Vienna for awhile now but I want to go back!
Das Jahr 2014 Hat Sowas Von Ein Rad Ab.
So many Ypsilons at the Cosima von Bonin opening.

Mary Messhausen, Doc Nancy and I were giving out sexy bureaucratic butt stampings that turned everyone into an avid collector. Because of all the hot red tape most people could only get 2 stamps. So if you have more than 2 THEN you must have 3 or even 4 stamps (if you were able to get Cosima’s stamp). It was all about the STAMPS!

Cosima

Marathon

Mykonos

The Y3

where's my selfie stick?

The Ypsilon 5

Y5

the end

Y5Asssss

the rear end

Assport

STAMPS

4stamps

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They’ve been Yo Yo wifi dieting all day!

View on Instagram

Thank you Cosian and everyone at mumok.

Some of the above photos have this credit:
Die 3 Ypsilons bei der Eröffnung der Ausstellung / Die 3 Ypsilons at the opening of
COSIMA VON BONIN. HIPPIES USE SIDE DOOR.
DAS JAHR 2014 HAT EIN RAD AB. / THE YEAR 2014 HAS LOST THE PLOT.
3. Oktober 2014 / October 3, 2014, mumok Wien
Foto: mumok/Laurent Ziegler

Not Without My Pug

My not-so-secret pug obsession is running into ovHERdrive. I bought German literature: Nicht ohne meinen Mops, you guessed it: Not Without My Pug. Es ist ein “WG-Roman”; all about the Turbulenzen of sharing a flat. The pug in the book is called “Earl of Cockwood”, and of course belongs to a faggy fag. Coincidence?

Tanja found her dream apartment in downtown Stuttgart. Too bad she can’t afford it by herself and so she’s hosting a casting for flat mates. Tanja decides on Chris, a florist who works at a call centre and Rolf, a mailman who moves in with his pug “Earl of Cockwood”. Tanja is head over heels for these guys. Of course she is the last to know that Chris and Rolf are becoming a couple.

Not Without My Pug

Thanks Zesty.

Getting the Blobby Together

The Tanuki is a real but also mythical & magical animal native to Japan. It is widely depicted with balls (aka the blob) hanging to the floor representing luck with money. We felt it’s the perfect Hotnuts mascot & so here we go with TanukiNuts.
Get your blob did and check out some traditional drawing below.

Hosted by Mary Messhausen
Performance by Thigh Master Slaves at midnight
DJs das hussy and produzentin

The Beavurrr
1192 Queen St. W.
Saturday, Feb 27, 10:30 pm
$5 cover, free in drag or as tanuki

TanukiNuts YAY!

Tanukis: so versatile!
Top scene: Raccoon dogs river fishing (Tanuki no kawagari)
Bottom scene: Raccoon dogs sheltering from evening shower (Tanuki no yûdachi)
Publisher: Kadzusa-ya Iwazô c. 1842 (click for more)

The Magic Begins …

… at home.

When Toffi and I stayed at the Mirage in Las Vegas, we were of course a little sad that we couldn’t experience the magic that is Siegfried & Roy. Guess we came a couple of years too late.

Anyways, we had a great time visiting the Secret Garden of Siegfried & Roy with all the wild animals. In the little shopette by the zoo I found the book “The Magic Begins At Home” by S&R. The style is a good companion to the Michael Jackson auction catalogue.

More pictures after the jump, the full glory is on flickr.

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Mind Is The Magic

With this entry I would like to slowly move your attention from Michael Jackson to Siegfried & Roy. And what better way than with the song “Mind Is The Magic”. Recorded by Michael Jackson for Siegfried & Roy in 1989(?) and used in a trailer for one of their magical shows. This is Las Vegas.

If you’re in a hurry fast forward to 2:45 to hear Michael sing the chorus: Siegfried & Roy! Siegfried & Roy!

Trompe L’oeil Cindy

A dog can be so much more than just a boring dog!

You know, we love everything Trompe L’oeil here at produzentin.com. My friend Mischell just sent me the wonderful Create Grooming Poodle site (he seems to be really into poodles).

Anyways, now that I know that a dog can be so much more than just a boring dog, I want I poodle like Cindy, who loves attention and can look like:

A Dragon, for instance
A Dragon, for instance

Or a peacock
Or a peacock

A peacock after the show without feathers
Or a peacock after the show without feathers

My favourite: a ninja turtle!
My favourite: a ninja turtle!

This is not allgemein anymore, this is speziell.
Go to Creative Grooming for more pictures.

Green Porno

Green Porno is a series of 8 short films written, directed and featuring Isabella Rossellini made for small, mobile screens. The movies explain the mating rituals of the dragonfly, spider, bee, praying mantis, earthworm, snail and fly.

The Sundance Channel currently only permits US users to view the shorts. But you should be able to check all of them here.

Read the Sundance press release (in pdf) including an interview with Isabella Rossellini: “Then they said … It would be great to do something flashy ““ that was the word they used – that calls attention to these new possibilities. To me, ‘flashy’ translated into sex.”

Below are a couple of screenshots and quotes.
(Thanks Alex)

Earthworm

Earthworm
On the other end of my body I would have my anus – to defecate

Snail

Snail
I can withdraw my entire body into my shell
Where I could hide my vagina and my penis
I have both

Snail
My anus would end up on top of my head – unfortunately

Spider

Spider
If I was a spider I would have six eyes
And still don’t see very well

Fly

Fly
Our babies grow up in cadavers
They’re called maggots

Dargonfly

Dragonfly
I would have a slim slim body

Dragonfly
But first I would clean her vagina
To make sure she would only have my babies

Firefly

Firefly
If I was a firefly
I would light up my ass at night

Cannes 61

Charlie Kaufman is also in the running with his directorial debut Synecdoche, New York – which sees Philip Seymour Hoffman attempting to build a life-size model of the Big Apple.

Kung Fu Panda, an animated comedy from Dreamworks with a voice cast boasting Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu and Dustin Hoffman, will also premiere on Cannes’ famous Croisette. (source)

For all those who aren’t AP English professors, a “synecdoche,” other than a clever play on Schenectady, where some of the film takes place, is a figure of speech in which a part is used to describe the whole or the whole is used to describe a part (think “threads” for clothes, or “the law” for a police officer). It’s representative shorthand. (source)

I’m a little bit excited about the Charlie Kaufman movie mainly because I liked his screenplay for Human Nature, directed by Michel Gondry. Watch the trailer below.

Is The Quagga Coming Back?

The other day, I got mail from Bobs & Bitz. It was a spread from a weekly German newspaper about extinct animals. The lovely Beaverhausen ladies had sent it to my attention because of the animal series at produzentin.com.

As my favourite extinct animal the Tasmanian Tiger (aka Beutelwolf) was featured in the article, I thought I should feature it too. But then, I saw the quagga:

OMG, how cute: the quagga
One of only 5 existing pictures of a living quagga (source)

I already hear you saying: produzentin, are you kiddin’ us? This is just an okapi with the stripes on backwards! Or it’s a zorse! Don’t be foolin’ us, please!
Hold on, hold on, dear readers: The quagga is fo’ real. It has a close relation to the zebra, whereas the closest relative to the okapi is the giraffe. We have to get that family tree straightened out, right?

Anyways, the quagga lived in South Africa and is extinct since 1883. But this is not the end of the story. The Quagga Project aims to reproduce the quagga through back breeding of specific zebra stock. I can’t wait for the quagga to come back.

More on the quagga.

Old Compass – New Kate

“there is a world
where witches rule the northern sky
where ice bears are the bravest of warriors
and where every human is joined with an animal spirit
who is as close to them as their own human heart
this world is dominated by the majesterium
which seeks to control all humanity
and whose greatest threat is a golden compass
and the one child destined to posses it”

Obviously, this is taken from the trailer to the movie The Golden Compass. I just watched 2 min of the Daemon featurette (youtube), focusing on the animal spirits that live with every person. Nicole Kidman has a golden monkey.
Now I want my dwarf manatee to float right beside me.

Anyway, Kate Bush has recorded a new song for the soundtrack of The Golden Compass, called Lyra, named after the child that wants to posses The Golden Compass. (source)

The Cutest Manatee

Manatee: Want it

While I was on vacation in Florida I took a stop at Homosassa Springs, a wildlife park where you can observe manatees (some just call them sea cows). Sadly, this was before the digital camera age and the photos are now tucked away in a storage room in Germany. Anyway, I adore manatees. And these are just a couple of reasons why:

“Manatees are gentle and slow-moving. Most of their time is spent eating, resting, and in travel. They eat aquatic plants and can consume 10-15% of their body weight daily in vegetation.” (source)

Check the manatee cam

Just recently, I found out about the dwarf manatee, which was discovered in the Brazilian Amazonas in 2002 through a skull. 2 years later, the first living dwarf manatee could be photographed. With only 130 cm in length they are the smallest sirenas. The species was named Trichechus Bernardi after the late HRH Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands, founding father of the World Wide Fund.

Get your dwarf manatee fix over here.

Cutest manatee
by Marc Van Roosmalen

Okapi Bebe

Okapi Bebe
Source: Berliner Zeitung

I’m not sure if I ever told you about one of my favourite animals, the okapi. My dear friend Sabs sent me the newspaper clipping above. That reminded me on how bad I want to see an okapi baby.

Need to know facts about okapis (source, source):

  • The tongue of an okapi is long enough for the animal to wash its eyelids and clean its ears: it is one of the few mammals that can lick its own ears.
  • Until the beginning of the 20th century, okapis were known to the native people only
  • The okapi was known to the ancient Egyptians; shortly after its discovery by Europeans, an ancient carved image of the animal was discovered in Egypt. For years, Europeans in Africa had heard of an animal that they came to call ‘the African unicorn’.
  • The okapi is the symbol of cryptozoology – the search for animals that are rumoured to exist, but for which conclusive proof is missing.

Don’t you wish you had a tongue as long as an okapi tongue? You could lick some nuts off of the table with minimal motion. Evenings on the couch would never be the same.

Have a look at a long okapi tongue in action.

Okapi
I took this photo of an okapi at the Frankfurt Zoo.
Supposedly, there was a baby but it was too shy to come out. I was smad.

When Do We Get Zo-ger or Li-rse?

Hybrids caught my attention when I watched Napoleon Dynamite drawing a liger. The cross between a male lion and a female tiger is pretty much Napoleon’s favourite animal. Supposedly, they are the biggest cats in the world. I’m really intrigued by the whole wiki entry on ligers:

While male ligers are sterile, female ligers are fertile, and they can reproduce. Because only female ligers and tigons are fertile, a liger cannot reproduce with a tigon.
If a liger were to reproduce with a tiger, it would be called a ti-liger, and if it were to reproduce with a lion, it would be called a li-liger.

Call me liger
Napoleon’s drawing of a liger

Recently, I discovered the Zorse, you guessed it, a cross between a zebra stallion and a horse mare. An extremely hybrid Zorse called Eclyse lives at Safaripark Stukenbrock near Bielefeld, Germany.
Of course there is a video of Eclyse. Watch it, please.

Hi, I'm a Zorse
A Zorse named Eclyse
After the mother Eclipse and the father Ulysses